I recently had a strange awakening.
So the other day I was talking to my sister Nehal, about random things, future, life etc, About How our traumas in life have affected us in so many ways today, in terms of decision making, coping mechanisms and just how we view people around us. While she was telling her story and we were discussing how some people in the past did not really make smart choices when it came down to handling friendships, and that made me think about how I might have been that person to somebody else, and that stung. I can remember a few instances of my life where I’ve not really been my best, and I’m not proud of it, but I’ve learnt and grown from it. I am pretty sure I’ve endured the karma for it as well.
In the same conversation, we spoke about how maybe indirectly or not, I might have gotten everything I’ve ever wanted, and that is extremely hard for me to say because I still feel like I haven’t achieved enough, and it is a constant rampage, my mind constantly trying to prove to itself that I am capable of more. It just made me realise that I need to be more grateful. I’ve always thought that I’ve got the privilege of an education, of a comfortable lifestyle, of having an intensely supportive group of people around me, and I have always reminded myself of it, but hardly practised enough gratitude.
It might be very hard for some people to understand that, even for people who have gotten everything in life, they are never going to feel satisfied. I might have achieved a few of my short-term goals, and have made history, and I am filled with pride. But I still don’t consider those accomplishments enough. I am constantly dreaming of more, manifesting the next phase of life, and I think that’s the hunger and passion for the life of my dreams or the dream itself.
Sure, I have gotten a lot more than people in my own family would have. I’ve got the opportunities that many people dream of, and I am extremely grateful for them. But that doesn’t stop me from asking for more because I truly believe I am built for greatness. I truly believe that my dreams have no limits, that they are not going to remain dreams forever.
We all have small goals in life. It can be as tiny as buying a bag, but those are still goals, and until you reach them, you’re never going to know how much more you’re capable of. I think it is time that we start normalising, actually, scratch that, romanticising the hunger for everything that you think you can achieve; The unbelievable urge to succeed in life. There are a ton of people who are satisfied with everything that they have, and they are happy, but I don’t want the happiness that comes with satisfaction. I want happiness that creates space for bigger and better. I am sure this comes off cocky, but maybe the hunger never leaves people who believe they are capable of more.
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