What do you think of when someone says this exact sentence? Does it sound confident, or does it make you wonder what they’re not saying?
I like to believe that I am a good person; I listen, understand, empathise, but I also suppress, forgive and lose my self-respect in the process.
It is crazy to me that being a good person has been attached to the idea of being so selfless that you forget about yourself altogether, you empathise with everyone to the extent that it feels almost illegal to think about yourself.
Last year, I experienced what I can only describe as my first heartbreak. I cried, I wallowed, I sobbed, I got up, I started hating that version of myself and have never been back there since.
Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do when something leaves you unrecognisable to yourself? The answer is No.
You know, I thought if I could just forgive, it would all be over, but I was so wrong about that.
The thought of forgiveness made me sick, it still does but because I pride myself on being a good person, I did it anyway, I forgave, and you know what that did, it made the whole thing too human for me to feel bad for myself.
Forgiving someone who made you feel like everything that you are was ripped away from you in an instant is probably the most altruistic thing you will ever do, which doesn’t necessarily take away the pain.
Getting over something truly starts with you being a good person to yourself, and that takes courage. Because the literal definition of being a “good person” has nothing to do with taking care of ourselves.
Let’s change that. I think the definition of a good person needs to be altered to “someone who knows when to give and when to stop giving.”
So maybe being a good person should finally include you.
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